Parenting is one hell of a ride! There will be moments when you’re so proud of yourself, and then there will be moments when you absolutely messed up. Mistakes happen sometimes, and this takes place where parenting is concerned too. There may have been instances where you yelled at your kids for no reason or acted a certain way that would be unfair to your child. This happens — you’re not the first parent to make a mistake when it comes to your kid, nor will you be the last one. What’s more, you can recover from your parenting mistakes and start on a new page too.
If you’re dealing with inner turmoil right now, it doesn’t have to be that way forever, as we’ll help you fix this! Here’s how you can recover from your parenting mistakes:
1. Recognize Your Mistakes
The first and the most crucial step to fix a mistake is understanding and recognizing that there was a mistake in the first place. Honestly, babies don’t come with a rule book titled “Parenting 101”, so the best way to be a parent is to wing it. Sometimes, you may falter, and sometimes you may ace it. People often say “mothers know best”, but honestly, that doesn’t apply all the time. There’s a long way to go, and parenting is a full-time job. So, the earlier you identify and recognize your mistakes, the better it is for you and your baby.
2. Get To The Root Of The Problem
Once you have figured that you have made a mistake, the next step is to get down to the bottom of it. This means you need to ask yourself why it happened or why you did what you did. For example, if you lost your cool with your child when it was no fault of theirs, then you need to try to find out why you did that. It could be because you had a bad day at work, and your anger was misplaced. Or maybe, you got into a tiff with someone on the road, which set the pace for a sour mood.
3. Accept And Apologize
Considering that you’re a parent, you could assume that you don’t owe your kid an apology. After all, you’re the figure of authority, right? Wrong! When someone makes a mistake, an apology must follow suit, and this applies to a parent-child relationship as well. Go to your child and apologize for what you did to them. When you do this, you aren’t just fixing a mistake; you are also strengthening the bond you have with your child. There’s more — you are also setting an excellent example for your child. When they see you owning your mistake, they begin to learn that it is the right thing to do.
4. Talk About It
Your child hasn’t seen life as much as you have, but through you, they will understand that sometimes people make mistakes. Explain the situation to your child so they know where your concern comes from too. The idea is not to justify your mistake but to show them that different perspectives exist. They will also get a chance to reflect on their actions. When you talk about it, also encourage them to share their experience and feelings with you. Let them discuss what they went through and how you made them feel. Finally, you can discuss and ask them for suggestions about doing things better the next time.
5. Lessons Learnt
They say that experience is the best teacher — this is true. Whatever mistakes you made was an experience that paved the way for new learning. That is not all, your children will learn from your mistakes as well, and this way, hopefully, they won’t repeat the same mistakes. Having said that, there is another popular quote — “The first time was a mistake, the second time was a choice”. So, learn from your mistakes, but also learn not to repeat them.
6. Move On From It
You’re probably going on a guilt trip even after the matter has been resolved. It’s normal for you to feel terrible about making a mistake, especially if it concerns your kid. We can’t discount the fact that parents are put under a lot of pressure to be the epitome of perfection. Parents aren’t allowed to falter in most cases, and any misstep is viewed as a big deal. However, you are humans too. You’ve made a mistake, learned from it, apologized for it, and now it’s time to move on! And, do better next time!
As we said, it’s okay to make mistakes sometimes. What matters is that you are trying to be the best version of yourself for your child. Mistakes happen, but in most cases, they can be fixed as well. What are your thoughts on this? Let us know in the comments below!